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A grayscale city skyline serves as the background for two retro-styled women in 1950s dresses, one in teal and one in coral. Each holds an oversized vintage electronic device. The phrase “Reporting For Work” appears in bold black text, with a subheading that reads: “Love Triangle Analysts and Full-Time Flirts.” This is the small version.
The desk mat is displayed in front of a standing full-size computer screen for use with a separate keyboard.
The desk mat is displayed with a laptop nearby and a mouse on it, with assorted office items lying on the desk as well.
A grayscale city skyline serves as the background for two retro-styled women in 1950s dresses, one in teal and one in coral. Each holds an oversized vintage electronic device. The phrase “Reporting For Work” appears in bold black text, with a subheading that reads: “Love Triangle Analysts and Full-Time Flirts.” This is the medium version.
A grayscale city skyline serves as the background for two retro-styled women in 1950s dresses, one in teal and one in coral. Each holds an oversized vintage electronic device. The phrase “Reporting For Work” appears in bold black text, with a subheading that reads: “Love Triangle Analysts and Full-Time Flirts.” This is the large version.
This is the corner of the back of the desk mat, showing the 100% neoprene construction.
A grayscale city skyline serves as the background for two retro-styled women in 1950s dresses, one in teal and one in coral. Each holds an oversized vintage electronic device. The phrase “Reporting For Work” appears in bold black text, with a subheading that reads: “Love Triangle Analysts and Full-Time Flirts.” This is the small version.
The desk mat is displayed in front of a standing full-size computer screen for use with a separate keyboard.
The desk mat is displayed with a laptop nearby and a mouse on it, with assorted office items lying on the desk as well.
A grayscale city skyline serves as the background for two retro-styled women in 1950s dresses, one in teal and one in coral. Each holds an oversized vintage electronic device. The phrase “Reporting For Work” appears in bold black text, with a subheading that reads: “Love Triangle Analysts and Full-Time Flirts.” This is the medium version.
A grayscale city skyline serves as the background for two retro-styled women in 1950s dresses, one in teal and one in coral. Each holds an oversized vintage electronic device. The phrase “Reporting For Work” appears in bold black text, with a subheading that reads: “Love Triangle Analysts and Full-Time Flirts.” This is the large version.
This is the corner of the back of the desk mat, showing the 100% neoprene construction.

Fantasy Jobs In An Ideal World - Sassy Desk Mat (Free U.S. Shipping)

We designed this desk mat for women who daydream about a work life that involves more than boring spreadsheets.  This desk mat is here to say what your HR department doesn’t have a job title for: You’re unofficially a Love Triangle Analyst.

If your idea of productivity includes romance tropes and witty banter, this one’s for you. You specialize in spotting red flags, green lights, and the occasional morally gray villain worth sacrificing work hours for.

Your “unofficial” mission? Investigating every kiss, cliffhanger, and fake-dating fiasco like it’s a national emergency. Your credentials? Romance novels. Your training? Years of late-night reading and arguing over book boyfriends online.

So click and order now. It’s time to report for duty.

Product features

  • Non-slip bottom
  • Durable hemmed edges
  • Made from 100% Neoprene
  • Available in three sizes
  • Warm water and dish soap to clean spots off
  • Soft-bristled brush for hard-to-clean spots
FYI: Colors may look a smidge different IRL. Blame your screen, not us—we’re fabulous in all resolutions.
Made-to-order means you don’t get your steamy goods overnight. Please allow 1-2 business days for production + 5–7 for delivery.
$29.99
$29.99
Sold Out

Size: 12" × 18"

Sku: 27053866921743673732


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