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A pink gingham plaid background with a diagonal lime green banner across the image. The banner contains the text “romance novels.” in lowercase blue-ish green font, followed by “setting unrealistic expectations from the start.” in smaller print. This is the small version.
The desk mat is displayed in front of a standing full-size computer screen for use with a separate keyboard.
The desk mat is displayed with a laptop nearby and a mouse on it, with assorted office items lying on the desk as well.
This is the corner of the back of the desk mat, showing the 100% neoprene construction.
A pink gingham plaid background with a diagonal lime green banner across the image. The banner contains the text “romance novels.” in lowercase blue-ish green font, followed by “setting unrealistic expectations from the start.” in smaller print. This is themedium version.
A pink gingham plaid background with a diagonal lime green banner across the image. The banner contains the text “romance novels” in lower-case case blue-ish green font, followed by “setting unrealistic expectations from the start” in smaller print. This is the large version.
A pink gingham plaid background with a diagonal lime green banner across the image. The banner contains the text “romance novels.” in lowercase blue-ish green font, followed by “setting unrealistic expectations from the start.” in smaller print. This is the small version.
The desk mat is displayed in front of a standing full-size computer screen for use with a separate keyboard.
The desk mat is displayed with a laptop nearby and a mouse on it, with assorted office items lying on the desk as well.
This is the corner of the back of the desk mat, showing the 100% neoprene construction.
A pink gingham plaid background with a diagonal lime green banner across the image. The banner contains the text “romance novels.” in lowercase blue-ish green font, followed by “setting unrealistic expectations from the start.” in smaller print. This is themedium version.
A pink gingham plaid background with a diagonal lime green banner across the image. The banner contains the text “romance novels” in lower-case case blue-ish green font, followed by “setting unrealistic expectations from the start” in smaller print. This is the large version.

Romance Novels: Raising Standards. Ruining Dating - Cheeky Desk Mat (Free U.S. Shipping)

We created this desk mat to call out the real villain in your dating life: romance novels. Blame the books.

The entire romance-reading population knows the truth: these books have absolutely corrupted your expectations. The bar you have set is too high for mere mortal men.

A coffee date and basic hygiene used to be enough to capture your attention.  Now? You want angsty eye contact, third-act grovels, and only a man who is a secret billionaire and rescues lost puppies and feral cats in his spare time will do.

It’s bold. It’s cheeky. It’s a cry for help wrapped in humor. Basically, it’s perfect for your desk and your plot-driven, red-flag-ridden, wildly unattainable standards.

No need to despair - just adjust your expectations.

Product features

  • Non-slip bottom
  • Durable hemmed edges
  • Made from 100% Neoprene
  • Available in three sizes
  • Warm water and dish soap to clean spots off
  • Soft-bristled brush for hard-to-clean spots
FYI: Colors may look a smidge different IRL. Blame your screen, not us—we’re fabulous in all resolutions.
Made-to-order means you don’t get your steamy goods overnight. Please allow 1-2 business days for production + 5–7 for delivery.
$34.99
$34.99
Sold Out

Size: 12" × 22"

Sku: 39157099935392738034


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