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For romance readers and their book boyfriends.

Cotton placemat with cartoon utensils in pasta bowl and text: “Fork Me? Oh Darling, Let’s Eat Dinner First.”
The placemat is displayed on a table with a cup and saucer, a teapot, a plant, and a spoon for context.
The placemat is folded over at the left corner to show the white cotton backing.
Cotton placemat with cartoon utensils in pasta bowl and text: “Fork Me? Oh Darling, Let’s Eat Dinner First.”
The placemat is displayed on a table with a cup and saucer, a teapot, a plant, and a spoon for context.
The placemat is folded over at the left corner to show the white cotton backing.

I Said Dinner. Not Commitment – Sassy Cotton Placemat | Free U.S. Shipping

Set the table, pour the wine, and let the drama unfold—because this placemat isn't here to play nice.

It's perfect for romance readers who like their meals served with a side of sass, spice, and silverware chemistry that rivals their favorite book couples.

This mat knows how to set the mood—flirty, fun, and just dramatic enough to keep things interesting.

Because a table without a little heat is just boring.

*This is one of five placemats in the "Sexy Silverware" collection.

Features Galore!

Features That'll Steal the Show:

  • Dining in Style: 100% cotton, 100% washable, and feels better than your latest fictional fling.
  • Perfectly Proportioned: 18" × 14", big enough for your feast, not your feelings.
  • Durability with a Wink: Fade-resistant and low-maintenance, just like your ideal book boyfriend.
  • Polished Finish: Sassy prints + crisp white seams = “Wow, she really has it together” energy.
Care Instructions
  • Machine wash / dry / iron
FYI: Colors may look a smidge different IRL. Blame your screen, not us—we’re fabulous in all resolutions.
Made-to-order means you don’t get your steamy goods overnight. Please allow 1–2 business days for production + 5–7 for delivery.
$24.99
$24.99
Sold Out
Sku: 31947324401517178423

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Gift-ready favorite: A laugh-out-loud pick for romance readers and book lovers—perfect for birthdays, Galentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day, and the holidays (yes, Christmas too). Ideal for anyone who likes their humor bold and their home goods a little bit naughty. U.S. shipping is included (no checkout surprises), and we ship within the USA only.


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