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For romance readers and their book boyfriends.

Bright turquoise desk mat featuring vintage-style blonde woman with voluminous updo holding a phone. Text reads “My Advice: Pay Attention to Plot Twists & Profit Margins” and “Because both deserve your full attention.”
Desk mat with turquoise background and retro woman illustration printed with the phrases “My Advice: Pay Attention to Plot Twists & Profit Margins” and “Because both deserve your full attention.” displayed beneath a desktop monitor.
Desk mat showing turquoise design and the text “My Advice: Pay Attention to Plot Twists & Profit Margins” and “Because both deserve your full attention.” on a desk with laptop and mouse.
Reverse side of the desk mat displayed in black neoprene with textured grip backing.
Bright turquoise desk mat featuring vintage-style blonde woman with voluminous updo holding a phone. Text reads “My Advice: Pay Attention to Plot Twists & Profit Margins” and “Because both deserve your full attention.”
Bright turquoise desk mat featuring vintage-style blonde woman with voluminous updo holding a phone. Text reads “My Advice: Pay Attention to Plot Twists & Profit Margins” and “Because both deserve your full attention.”
Bright turquoise desk mat featuring vintage-style blonde woman with voluminous updo holding a phone. Text reads “My Advice: Pay Attention to Plot Twists & Profit Margins” and “Because both deserve your full attention.”
Desk mat with turquoise background and retro woman illustration printed with the phrases “My Advice: Pay Attention to Plot Twists & Profit Margins” and “Because both deserve your full attention.” displayed beneath a desktop monitor.
Desk mat showing turquoise design and the text “My Advice: Pay Attention to Plot Twists & Profit Margins” and “Because both deserve your full attention.” on a desk with laptop and mouse.
Reverse side of the desk mat displayed in black neoprene with textured grip backing.
Bright turquoise desk mat featuring vintage-style blonde woman with voluminous updo holding a phone. Text reads “My Advice: Pay Attention to Plot Twists & Profit Margins” and “Because both deserve your full attention.”
Bright turquoise desk mat featuring vintage-style blonde woman with voluminous updo holding a phone. Text reads “My Advice: Pay Attention to Plot Twists & Profit Margins” and “Because both deserve your full attention.”

Plot Twists & Profit Margins – Sassy Desk Mat | Free U.S. Shipping

This desk mat is your brand, your mantra, and your proof that multitasking is hot.

It was designed for the romance reader who can analyze a spreadsheet and a smut scene with equal precision. You thrive on a tight budget and a tight embrace (preferably fictional, preferably shirtless).

You're not just balancing budgets—you're balancing plotlines, profit margins, and the occasional fictional fling. And this desk mat keeps up.

Add to cart, babe. Your desk deserves something as clever as you.

Features Galore!

Features That’ll Steal the Show:

  • Desk Drama, Delivered: 100% polyester front and natural rubber backing for a combo as solid as your favorite OTP.
  • Smooth Operator: Vibrant, crisp print surface for effortless mouse gliding—perfect for clicking, scrolling, or plotting your next fantasy.
  • Stable and Steamy: Anti-slip base grips your desk harder than a grumpy hero grips your heart.
  • Low-Maintenance, High-Impact: Spot clean with dish soap and warm water—no soaking required (unless it’s Chapter 27 and someone’s in a tub).
  • Choose Your Size: Three options. Because size does matter.

Care Instructions
  • Warm water and dish soap to clean spots off
  • Soft-bristled brush for hard-to-clean spots
FYI: Colors may look a smidge different IRL. Blame your screen, not us—we’re fabulous in all resolutions.
Made-to-order means you don’t get your steamy goods overnight. Please allow 1–2 business days for production + 5–7 for delivery.
$29.99
$29.99
Sold Out

Size: 12" × 18"

Sku: 33850826259076037705

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All major credit cards accepted. No IOUs, love notes, or vague promises.

Gift-ready favorite: A laugh-out-loud pick for romance readers and book lovers—perfect for birthdays, Galentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day, and the holidays (yes, Christmas too). Ideal for anyone who likes their humor bold and their home goods a little bit naughty. U.S. shipping is included (no checkout surprises), and we ship within the USA only.


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